Unwanted technical advice is common at conventions

Seeing as how I've neglected my house for the last two weeks in favor of other, convention-like things I decided that my free time this evening would be best spent by putting aside the bottle of gin and at least sorting the mail that was threatening to take over my kitchen. tarinfirepelt and fiskblack can attest to the mountain of envelopes, boxes and bags that were laying claim to my dining space -- having successfully overrun the usual resting place of the butcher block, they'd moved on to my kitchen table and were making plans to annex my countertop and sink. If I allowed that to happen these postal marauders would have the high ground and could launch a full-blown assault upon my den that might prove to be unstoppable.

( Read on for a rant... )

It would seem there's just something about me that attracts this type of foolishness (How is it I alone am so lucky?). Being on staff means I have to spend the entire convention trapped behind the table, so I guess situations of this nature are inesecapable. I wonder if next year somebody will attempt to chastize me for using electricity to run my machines. That would be beautiful (And, I dare venture, will undoubtedly have to be written upon my admittance form for the psychiatric ward).

Hey, takaza? Is there any chance you can coax the board to ratify a provision for health insurance in the case of a complete mental break?

You see little sister don't miss when she aims her gun

Unwanted technical advice is common at conventions

Seeing as how I've neglected my house for the last two weeks in favor of other, convention-like things I decided that my free time this evening would be best spent by putting aside the bottle of gin and at least sorting the mail that was threatening to take over my kitchen. tarinfirepelt and fiskblack can attest to the mountain of envelopes, boxes and bags that were laying claim to my dining space -- having successfully overrun the usual resting place of the butcher block, they'd moved on to my kitchen table and were making plans to annex my countertop and sink. If I allowed that to happen these postal marauders would have the high ground and could launch a full-blown assault upon my den that might prove to be unstoppable.

( Read on for a rant... )

It would seem there's just something about me that attracts this type of foolishness (How is it I alone am so lucky?). Being on staff means I have to spend the entire convention trapped behind the table, so I guess situations of this nature are inesecapable. I wonder if next year somebody will attempt to chastize me for using electricity to run my machines. That would be beautiful (And, I dare venture, will undoubtedly have to be written upon my admittance form for the psychiatric ward).

Hey, takaza? Is there any chance you can coax the board to ratify a provision for health insurance in the case of a complete mental break?

You see little sister don't miss when she aims her gun

Unwanted technical advice is common at conventions [part two]

I was talking a bit with points after posting the previous entry and I thought I'd share this small snippet of conversation. Points, I place the blame for the repressed memory you triggered squarely upon your shoulders.

Points says, "At least it wasn't a whole line of people going 'y'know, if you let me take everything over and redo everything from scratch, I could do it better.'"

Feren says, "I had that last year."

That's when I realized I'd forgotten to mention in the previous diatribe that I actually had people recoil and fucking hiss like cornered, rabid weasels when they heard the Windows "Booting up" chime come from my laptop. Seriously people, what the fuck is your damage? Every operating system serves a niche. I am not about to use your favorite flavor of Linux just because it gives you a warm chubby one and allows you to delude yourself into thinking that you're running your operating system without all that "bloated, poorly-coded overhead." What the hell is your problem, you sacks of disease? Don't tell me you really think that window transparency and antialiased fonts shouldn't count as overhead? Get a goddamn grip!

Allow me to make this painfully clear (I even promise I won't use big words as I try to explain this to you): I use the tools that meet my needs. Some of those tools run under Windows. In the words of The Great Sage and Eminent Junkie (I speak of the character "Henry Dean," from Stephen King's Dark Tower series) you need to accept this fact and just "deal." Acting like a complete idiot who just shit his pants all because of a SOUND FILE isn't going to convince me to "convert," and it sure as hell doesn't endear me to your cause. Mostly it just reaffirms my belief that you have the personality of a wet gym sock and makes me wish I had the power to get you forcefully sterilized for the good of our species.

Seriously, I think I'll put in a line item in the budget for a tazer. First person to be "clever" in a similar manner next year gets 50,000 volts to the reproductive organs.

Unwanted technical advice is common at conventions [part two]

I was talking a bit with points after posting the previous entry and I thought I'd share this small snippet of conversation. Points, I place the blame for the repressed memory you triggered squarely upon your shoulders.

Points says, "At least it wasn't a whole line of people going 'y'know, if you let me take everything over and redo everything from scratch, I could do it better.'"

Feren says, "I had that last year."

That's when I realized I'd forgotten to mention in the previous diatribe that I actually had people recoil and fucking hiss like cornered, rabid weasels when they heard the Windows "Booting up" chime come from my laptop. Seriously people, what the fuck is your damage? Every operating system serves a niche. I am not about to use your favorite flavor of Linux just because it gives you a warm chubby one and allows you to delude yourself into thinking that you're running your operating system without all that "bloated, poorly-coded overhead." What the hell is your problem, you sacks of disease? Don't tell me you really think that window transparency and antialiased fonts shouldn't count as overhead? Get a goddamn grip!

Allow me to make this painfully clear (I even promise I won't use big words as I try to explain this to you): I use the tools that meet my needs. Some of those tools run under Windows. In the words of The Great Sage and Eminent Junkie (I speak of the character "Henry Dean," from Stephen King's Dark Tower series) you need to accept this fact and just "deal." Acting like a complete idiot who just shit his pants all because of a SOUND FILE isn't going to convince me to "convert," and it sure as hell doesn't endear me to your cause. Mostly it just reaffirms my belief that you have the personality of a wet gym sock and makes me wish I had the power to get you forcefully sterilized for the good of our species.

Seriously, I think I'll put in a line item in the budget for a tazer. First person to be "clever" in a similar manner next year gets 50,000 volts to the reproductive organs.