feren: Feren smoking (atomicfiction_ferensmoking)
... because I didn't have enough of those in my life.  Why defer when you can push the issue to a yelling match.  That's haelthy, right? 


Apr. 9th, 2012 09:51 pm
feren: Feren smoking (atomicfiction_ferensmoking)
Five months since my last post; I'm still not dead.

Bastards must be losing their edge.
feren: I AM THE MAN (Default)
At least the faces of some drivers will.

The last two Juniper M10i routers were delivered to the new datacenter today. Sadly, only one of them is usable. The other had damage to the box that made me curious, and the two shock sensors had both been tripped. Opening the box revealed that the handles on the two included power supplies had been smashed and bent inward, and the filler plates had been popped out of the front. Which implies to me a back-to-front shock. But man, what the hell did they do to this thing, play forklift soccer with it?

Tripped shock sensor
Tripped shock sensor
This is not what you want to see on the outside of the box carrying your $20k chassis.

Bent power supply handles
Bent power supply handles
Bent handles on the two power supplies.

Popped faceplates
Popped faceplates
Four or five of the front filler plates on the M10i were popped out from the shock.

So it should go without saying that UPS Ground (the carrier that has their label on the box) is going to be taking a big ol' healthy bite of a $20k shit sandwich and reimbursing Juniper for the damaged unit they now have to replace. Meanwhile I will have to wait for another M10i to be shipped to me as an RMA... argh.
feren: Feren is silly (Zhivagod_Feren-Silly)
[livejournal.com profile] chebutykin uploaded video of me in the cone of shame at CONvergence 2009 to YouTube.

feren: I AM THE MAN (Sakuranym - Feren_profile)
As Ferenpanther.

And in the back of my head all I hear is "one of us, one of us!"
feren: I AM THE MAN (ashryn-gruntle)
In order to try and help out while troubleshooting a problem [livejournal.com profile] lady_curmudgeon was encountering with Facebook, I ended up joining as well.

One of us. One of us. One of us.
feren: I AM THE MAN (Warp)
Sweet, sweet land. Or more accurately, sweet not-buried-snow apartment.

I arrived at casa de [livejournal.com profile] hightensile and [livejournal.com profile] mindslide about ten minutes ago, which puts my arrival at 8:54 PM. I left at 4:13 PM from work. That's a four-and-a-half hour drive, which normally takes me about 2 hours and change. Kit wisely pried my fists apart from their clenched state and shoved a Leinenkugel's Apple Spice into one still-trembling-with-fear-and-rage hand. Apparently he had conspired via phone with [livejournal.com profile] hakeber and the consensus was that in order to speak English again I'd need some sort of booze.

They weren't wrong.

I wanted to phone in at 7:55 that I was 25 miles from Madison and I'd seen two state cruisers in the ditch, but my cellphone sucks, so I didn't.

And now I'm here. I'm going to finish this beer and we're going to blow things up in Halo 2. Because if I don't inflict some video game violence, I'm going to explode.
feren: I AM THE MAN (Jack)
Ah, family... They can drive you to manslaughter in 72 hours with the simplest things, and isn't it amazing?

Right now my current beef is my father's fascination with the television. As long as he is home the TV is always on, and the volume is always "up" to the point you have to shout over the damn thing to be heard. When he gets up to go outside and walk the dogs the TV is left on, blatting away even if nobody is there to watch it. If I turn it off he turns it back on again as soon as he's inside -- which is his right, yes, because it's his TV and his house.

But still, I'm really getting tired of competing with the TV.
feren: I AM THE MAN (drunky)
The thing you should know abour holiday party is that it has a karaoke contest every year.

We opened with the management committee performing "The Hop."

I am far too sober to endure this.
feren: I AM THE MAN (ashryn-hyperdrunk)
In twenty minutes the company Christmas party will be starting in Drury Lane, Oakbrook. This will probably be the most accessable company party ever since our office building shares a parking lot with Drury Lane. We can actually walk there for once.

Food and festivities await. Fortunately I'm not participating in the karaoke contest, so everyone's ears should be relatively safe. Unless I get ahold of some extra drink tickets... then nobody is safe.

The best part about this whole thing (aside from free drink and food for four hours) is that I don't have to go back to the office when the party is over. Woohoo, early release for good behavior!
feren: I AM THE MAN (fcy2k)
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well, isn't this nice"
And Isn't this ironic ... don't you think?

--- Ironic, Alanis Morissette

I'm not sure exactly what was going on in my head last night and maybe I don't even want to know, but I would really appreciate it if my subconscious would keep its little worries to itself. I do not need to wake up in the dark with a whimper in my throat and spend the next fifteen minutes curled up under the covers, panting, with my heart hammering away in my chest and feeling like my life just flashed before my eyes because of a dream.

That's what I have Ra for.

As near as I can figure it I started having a dream sometime around 4:00 AM this morning. With all the talk of possible travel that's been flying about for the last week I guess my unconscious picked up on it and used to for dream fodder. I don't recall all the specifics, but I do remember the key things... I was part of a large group of people flying, something on the order of six to eight people. We all knew one another, although I'm not sure entirely how -- I think we may have been coworkers. We'd known we were going to a particular destination but had forgotten to order our tickets ahead of time, so as we stood in line at the ticket counter with our bags we were trying to convince the counter agent to give us a sort of "group discount." I don't remember if it worked or not, but eventually a sky cap took all of our luggage, tagged it up and sent it on its way. I remember the airline very well, it was American Airlines, a company I've only flown with once (for my trip to Toronto last December).

The next part that I remember is being on the plane. We were flying over some major city or another. I had the window seat and was looking out over it as we flew over, commenting on it to the person in the seat immediately adjacent to mine. I believe at this point the dream had changed into a nightmare, I just didn't know it yet. We were flying along, slowly banking for a turn, letting me get a pretty good view of the cityscape below, even though it was easily many thousands of feet under me. I was still talking to the person next to me, who I believe was my coworker Bob. Bob is accompanying me on a work-related trip to Southern California sometime in May, and has been terrified to fly since even before September 11, 2001. Maybe I got a whiff of his fear and that's how I ended up with this dream, I don't know, but it turned pretty dark right then. As I was commenting on the city below the plane banked sharply, so that the wings we almost entirely vertical. Shouts of surprise were all around me in the cabin, and then those shouts turned to terrified screams as the nose of the plane plunged downward. The plane seemed to right itself somewhat, but that didn't help the feeling of falling helplessly out of control. I liken it to the sensation you get in the pit of your stomach when you go over the top of a roller coaster and gravity just seems to drop away from you as you plummet towards the bottom. After the plane straightened out somewhat we were still aimed towards the ground, and that's when the sound of the engines disappeared. Utterly gone, you couldn't hear them at all -- they'd stopped, or "flamed out", or whatever term you use for a jet engine that's essentially stalled. And of course we were still moving forward, but without the thrust it quickly became a much more rapid descent straight down. We were spiraling in towards the city, and I remember very clearly saying "Oh Jesus. I'm sorry Bob, it looks like you were right."

That's when I woke up gasping. I took a little while to calm myself, and then rolled over to look at the alarm clock. It read 4:47, as near as I could tell without my glasses on. For another fifteen to twenty minutes I couldn't get back to sleep, my heart was thudding like a lead balloon in my chest and I couldn't get my breathing back to normal. I think what unnerves me the most is that while yes, I was a little afraid to die in that dream... it wasn't my biggest concern. Sure, I didn't want to end things like that, but I recognize that when I get on a plane I'm giving up any iota of control over my life that I might have had up until that point. It used to bother me, but these days I'm pretty accepting of it. I just pass a lot of my time sleeping, because then I'm not aware enough to worry about every little detail that's surrounding me, and I don't care if the kid in the row ahead of me is bawling his head off and screaming that he wants a cookie. The fact that most flights these days have headphones readily available makes achieving sleep an even easier thing... I just plug in, find the ground control communications station (if I'm lucky enough to have a pilot who's piping that in) or the classical music station and then tuck in under a blanket for a snooze.

No, the overwhelming emotion I felt was sadness. I was filled with regret for things hadn't gone better, that I hadn't done more with my life, for opportunities I wouldn't get to take. I felt sorry that I was going to leave people behind. So I was sad. Scared some, yes, but mostly sad.

What does that say about me, I wonder?
feren: I AM THE MAN (fcy2k)
This week has now had two nights I'm really wishing hadn't occurred. I hate it when the past comes up from behind me and clips me in the back of the skull with a seven-pound Physics primer. I'm left doubled-over, seeing nothing but stars and wondering what in the frell just clobbered me.

Relationship angst, known to be caustic. You know you don't want to read this. )


feren: I AM THE MAN (Default)

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