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Tribute Band
Feb. 17th, 2013 08:52 amWhen I form my tribute band in honor of "Death Cab for Cutie," I am going to need a memorable name. Right now I'm leaning towards "Life Limo for Ugly."
I am a smartass [work]
Aug. 19th, 2009 03:29 pmI love the emails that I get at work, sometimes. I love the opportunity to be a smartass in response even more. For example, I just received this...
From: [DBA]
Sent: Wednesday, August 19, 2009 3:23 PM
To: [Project Manager 1]; Feren; [Feren's Boss]
Subject: Pipe sizing for transfers to new delta production
We were under the impression that the pipe going to production will be getting larger soon.
The last time we needed to transfer a large file to production from delta or delta2 we got kicked out repeatedly.
After a very productive day we are on track to start out database builds tonight and tomorrow.
For one of these databases this will require a 50gb file transfer. With the problems occurring last time we want to confirm when the pipe gets bigger so that we can reduce the chances of restart.
So when will the pipe get bigger??
Thanks,
[DBA]
I carefully considered this for a minute, then sent a response:
From: Feren
Sent: Wednesday, August 19, 2009 3:23 PM
To: [DBA]; [Project Manager 1]; Feren; [Feren's Boss]; [Project Manager 2]
Subject: Re: Pipe sizing for transfers to new delta production
When it works out more regularly and drinks protein shakes.
From: [DBA]
Sent: Wednesday, August 19, 2009 3:23 PM
To: [Project Manager 1]; Feren; [Feren's Boss]
Subject: Pipe sizing for transfers to new delta production
We were under the impression that the pipe going to production will be getting larger soon.
The last time we needed to transfer a large file to production from delta or delta2 we got kicked out repeatedly.
After a very productive day we are on track to start out database builds tonight and tomorrow.
For one of these databases this will require a 50gb file transfer. With the problems occurring last time we want to confirm when the pipe gets bigger so that we can reduce the chances of restart.
So when will the pipe get bigger??
Thanks,
[DBA]
I carefully considered this for a minute, then sent a response:
From: Feren
Sent: Wednesday, August 19, 2009 3:23 PM
To: [DBA]; [Project Manager 1]; Feren; [Feren's Boss]; [Project Manager 2]
Subject: Re: Pipe sizing for transfers to new delta production
When it works out more regularly and drinks protein shakes.
Normally I don't get political...
Oct. 22nd, 2008 01:45 pm... but this absolutely cracked me up.
By now you've most likely all heard about Joe the Plumber. Obama has introduced his new champion example of the middle-class average American: Al the Shoe Salesman.
Yes, that really is Ed O'Neill (reprising his old role as Al Bundy).
Link found via Reddit and video courtesy of barackobama.com's YouTube account.
By now you've most likely all heard about Joe the Plumber. Obama has introduced his new champion example of the middle-class average American: Al the Shoe Salesman.
Yes, that really is Ed O'Neill (reprising his old role as Al Bundy).
Link found via Reddit and video courtesy of barackobama.com's YouTube account.
Normally I don't get political...
Oct. 22nd, 2008 01:45 pm... but this absolutely cracked me up.
By now you've most likely all heard about Joe the Plumber. Obama has introduced his new champion example of the middle-class average American: Al the Shoe Salesman.
Yes, that really is Ed O'Neill (reprising his old role as Al Bundy).
Link found via Reddit and video courtesy of barackobama.com's YouTube account.
By now you've most likely all heard about Joe the Plumber. Obama has introduced his new champion example of the middle-class average American: Al the Shoe Salesman.
Yes, that really is Ed O'Neill (reprising his old role as Al Bundy).
Link found via Reddit and video courtesy of barackobama.com's YouTube account.
I Has A Tribble by ~panfah on deviantART
Sometimes the photographer is made the subject of photographs. In this outtake photograph (from a birthday party on December 1st of 2007) my friend
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
takaza wrested control of the camera away from me. I don't know why, or how, this Tribble-like creature came into play.So here I am, the man (normally) behind the lens. I should have tried to try to play it off as a toupee.
I Has A Tribble by ~panfah on deviantART
Sometimes the photographer is made the subject of photographs. In this outtake photograph (from a birthday party on December 1st of 2007) my friend
takaza wrested control of the camera away from me. I don't know why, or how, this Tribble-like creature came into play.So here I am, the man (normally) behind the lens. I should have tried to try to play it off as a toupee.
Oh man, Ozzy Osbourne has auditioned to be the new announcer for Anderson Cooper 360 on CNN. Here is the video clip where Anderson introduces him.
This is full of candy and win.
This is full of candy and win.
Oh man, Ozzy Osbourne has auditioned to be the new announcer for Anderson Cooper 360 on CNN. Here is the video clip where Anderson introduces him.
This is full of candy and win.
This is full of candy and win.
Ah, the glorious sounds of winter.
Dec. 5th, 2007 11:50 amWhile I was out shoveling the driveway and sidewalk this morning, I was reminded why I love winter:
A snowblower is a luxury that I miss having (the one my parents have on the farm can kick wet, sticky snow into a rooster tail 25 feet tall....) but, on the other hand, it's hard to have a problem starting your shovel.
*obvious sound of a pull-start engine being yanked on*
whud whud whud. whud.
*obvious sound of a pull-start engine being yanked on*
WHUD whud whud. whud.
*obvious sound of a pull-start engine being yanked on*
whud whud Whud WHUD WHUD WHUD WHUD! WHUD! Whud. whud.
"Fuck."
Ah, the glorious sounds of winter.
Dec. 5th, 2007 11:50 amWhile I was out shoveling the driveway and sidewalk this morning, I was reminded why I love winter:
A snowblower is a luxury that I miss having (the one my parents have on the farm can kick wet, sticky snow into a rooster tail 25 feet tall....) but, on the other hand, it's hard to have a problem starting your shovel.
*obvious sound of a pull-start engine being yanked on*
whud whud whud. whud.
*obvious sound of a pull-start engine being yanked on*
WHUD whud whud. whud.
*obvious sound of a pull-start engine being yanked on*
whud whud Whud WHUD WHUD WHUD WHUD! WHUD! Whud. whud.
"Fuck."
"I heard you were dead," Part Two
Nov. 4th, 2007 11:14 amI am pleased to announce that, thanks to the dilligent effort of neuracnu, Forum 2010 has returned. Long live the Forum.1
[1] Yes, I have a vested interest in driving traffic to the site. If I don't, the site gets no ad revenue. If the site gets no ad revenue, my SOMAD will have no money to buy gin with. This will make him bitchier than usual -- and nobody wants that.
neuracnu, Forum 2010 has returned. Long live the Forum.1[1] Yes, I have a vested interest in driving traffic to the site. If I don't, the site gets no ad revenue. If the site gets no ad revenue, my SOMAD will have no money to buy gin with. This will make him bitchier than usual -- and nobody wants that.
"I heard you were dead," Part Two
Nov. 4th, 2007 11:14 amI am pleased to announce that, thanks to the dilligent effort of neuracnu, Forum 2010 has returned. Long live the Forum.1
[1] Yes, I have a vested interest in driving traffic to the site. If I don't, the site gets no ad revenue. If the site gets no ad revenue, my SOMAD will have no money to buy gin with. This will make him bitchier than usual -- and nobody wants that.
neuracnu, Forum 2010 has returned. Long live the Forum.1[1] Yes, I have a vested interest in driving traffic to the site. If I don't, the site gets no ad revenue. If the site gets no ad revenue, my SOMAD will have no money to buy gin with. This will make him bitchier than usual -- and nobody wants that.
Yesterday was Jeans Day at $EMPLOYER. But wait, Feren! I hear you say. I thought jeans were verboten at your place of employment! You're right, they are -- usually. Sometimes the ban upon All Things Denim is lifted as a "reward" for us low-level employees, as if a singular day of comfort and style somehow makes up for all the other indignities we suffer. In the case of the 22nd, it was to mark the anniversary of $SUBDIVISION's founding. So at the beginning of the week a memo went out inviting all employees to wear jeans on Friday, "in celebration."
Being the perverse, contrary and generally assholish individual that I am, I naturally chose to go against the grain. I opted to wear one of my suits to work instead instead of the day's "relaxed" code of jeans and polo shirt. The fabric was black with dark pinstripes and I trimmed that out with black shoes (of course), black belt (naturally), a black shirt, a black tie with red, yellow and blue blotches (I joked that the tie looked like a macaw had exploded on it), my sunglasses and my favorite hat (The hat had to come off while I was at my desk, otherwise I wore it most of the day). I received a lot of the expected "Hey, I hope your interview goes well!" commentary, along with the various permutations thereof like "Hey, have you got an interview today?" Only one or two people stopped and asked me "So... what's going on with the suit?"
Regardless of what phrase was used during the opening dialog my answer was always the same. "I'm wearing a suit because today is Jeans Day," I'd tell them, which would net a quizzical look in response. So I'd elaborate on my explanation by adding, "Every day could be Jeans Day, if management wanted it to be. I'm a senior engineer at the corporate office, I don't see our target customers -- ever -- and rarely do I interact with vendors. The same goes for you. There's no reason we need to wear slacks day in and day out. So, this is my political commentary in response to our supposed reward."
Yes, I am well aware that wearing a suit on jeans day is not terribly clever and that doing so is a far cry from anything remotely approaching subversive. Still, as I was growing up, I was told repeatedly that it's the little things in life that count. So hey, if by doing this little thing I can separate myself from the herd for a brief while and, at the same time, thumb my nose at a worthless policy? I might as well make the effort.
Heidi, when a man buys a couch... he loses a ball.
Being the perverse, contrary and generally assholish individual that I am, I naturally chose to go against the grain. I opted to wear one of my suits to work instead instead of the day's "relaxed" code of jeans and polo shirt. The fabric was black with dark pinstripes and I trimmed that out with black shoes (of course), black belt (naturally), a black shirt, a black tie with red, yellow and blue blotches (I joked that the tie looked like a macaw had exploded on it), my sunglasses and my favorite hat (The hat had to come off while I was at my desk, otherwise I wore it most of the day). I received a lot of the expected "Hey, I hope your interview goes well!" commentary, along with the various permutations thereof like "Hey, have you got an interview today?" Only one or two people stopped and asked me "So... what's going on with the suit?"
Regardless of what phrase was used during the opening dialog my answer was always the same. "I'm wearing a suit because today is Jeans Day," I'd tell them, which would net a quizzical look in response. So I'd elaborate on my explanation by adding, "Every day could be Jeans Day, if management wanted it to be. I'm a senior engineer at the corporate office, I don't see our target customers -- ever -- and rarely do I interact with vendors. The same goes for you. There's no reason we need to wear slacks day in and day out. So, this is my political commentary in response to our supposed reward."
Yes, I am well aware that wearing a suit on jeans day is not terribly clever and that doing so is a far cry from anything remotely approaching subversive. Still, as I was growing up, I was told repeatedly that it's the little things in life that count. So hey, if by doing this little thing I can separate myself from the herd for a brief while and, at the same time, thumb my nose at a worthless policy? I might as well make the effort.
Heidi, when a man buys a couch... he loses a ball.
Yesterday was Jeans Day at $EMPLOYER. But wait, Feren! I hear you say. I thought jeans were verboten at your place of employment! You're right, they are -- usually. Sometimes the ban upon All Things Denim is lifted as a "reward" for us low-level employees, as if a singular day of comfort and style somehow makes up for all the other indignities we suffer. In the case of the 22nd, it was to mark the anniversary of $SUBDIVISION's founding. So at the beginning of the week a memo went out inviting all employees to wear jeans on Friday, "in celebration."
Being the perverse, contrary and generally assholish individual that I am, I naturally chose to go against the grain. I opted to wear one of my suits to work instead instead of the day's "relaxed" code of jeans and polo shirt. The fabric was black with dark pinstripes and I trimmed that out with black shoes (of course), black belt (naturally), a black shirt, a black tie with red, yellow and blue blotches (I joked that the tie looked like a macaw had exploded on it), my sunglasses and my favorite hat (The hat had to come off while I was at my desk, otherwise I wore it most of the day). I received a lot of the expected "Hey, I hope your interview goes well!" commentary, along with the various permutations thereof like "Hey, have you got an interview today?" Only one or two people stopped and asked me "So... what's going on with the suit?"
Regardless of what phrase was used during the opening dialog my answer was always the same. "I'm wearing a suit because today is Jeans Day," I'd tell them, which would net a quizzical look in response. So I'd elaborate on my explanation by adding, "Every day could be Jeans Day, if management wanted it to be. I'm a senior engineer at the corporate office, I don't see our target customers -- ever -- and rarely do I interact with vendors. The same goes for you. There's no reason we need to wear slacks day in and day out. So, this is my political commentary in response to our supposed reward."
Yes, I am well aware that wearing a suit on jeans day is not terribly clever and that doing so is a far cry from anything remotely approaching subversive. Still, as I was growing up, I was told repeatedly that it's the little things in life that count. So hey, if by doing this little thing I can separate myself from the herd for a brief while and, at the same time, thumb my nose at a worthless policy? I might as well make the effort.
Heidi, when a man buys a couch... he loses a ball.
Being the perverse, contrary and generally assholish individual that I am, I naturally chose to go against the grain. I opted to wear one of my suits to work instead instead of the day's "relaxed" code of jeans and polo shirt. The fabric was black with dark pinstripes and I trimmed that out with black shoes (of course), black belt (naturally), a black shirt, a black tie with red, yellow and blue blotches (I joked that the tie looked like a macaw had exploded on it), my sunglasses and my favorite hat (The hat had to come off while I was at my desk, otherwise I wore it most of the day). I received a lot of the expected "Hey, I hope your interview goes well!" commentary, along with the various permutations thereof like "Hey, have you got an interview today?" Only one or two people stopped and asked me "So... what's going on with the suit?"
Regardless of what phrase was used during the opening dialog my answer was always the same. "I'm wearing a suit because today is Jeans Day," I'd tell them, which would net a quizzical look in response. So I'd elaborate on my explanation by adding, "Every day could be Jeans Day, if management wanted it to be. I'm a senior engineer at the corporate office, I don't see our target customers -- ever -- and rarely do I interact with vendors. The same goes for you. There's no reason we need to wear slacks day in and day out. So, this is my political commentary in response to our supposed reward."
Yes, I am well aware that wearing a suit on jeans day is not terribly clever and that doing so is a far cry from anything remotely approaching subversive. Still, as I was growing up, I was told repeatedly that it's the little things in life that count. So hey, if by doing this little thing I can separate myself from the herd for a brief while and, at the same time, thumb my nose at a worthless policy? I might as well make the effort.
Heidi, when a man buys a couch... he loses a ball.
Mother's Day, Part II (Humor)
May. 13th, 2007 12:41 pmMy father sent the following just a few days ago...
( What did Mom teach me? )
( What did Mom teach me? )
Mother's Day, Part II (Humor)
May. 13th, 2007 12:41 pmMy father sent the following just a few days ago...
( What did Mom teach me? )
( What did Mom teach me? )
This summarizes everything I just wrote.
Mar. 22nd, 2007 07:23 pmFrom my IM conversation a moment ago....
Sheena @1917: Was that a browser glitch on my end or did you really finish with: Once we hit 2200 I get to fall into my and that's it?
Feren @ 1918: yeah, I bombed it and posted with unfinished sentence you quoted
Sheena @1918: heeeee
Feren @ 1918: hello brain how are you today
"I'm pissed off at you."
Why?
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
Sheena @ 1919: "You don't let me experience delta waves, dammit."
This summarizes everything I just wrote.
Mar. 22nd, 2007 07:23 pmFrom my IM conversation a moment ago....
Sheena @1917: Was that a browser glitch on my end or did you really finish with: Once we hit 2200 I get to fall into my and that's it?
Feren @ 1918: yeah, I bombed it and posted with unfinished sentence you quoted
Sheena @1918: heeeee
Feren @ 1918: hello brain how are you today
"I'm pissed off at you."
Why?
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
Sheena @ 1919: "You don't let me experience delta waves, dammit."
