I am a smartass [work]

[feren]

I love the emails that I get at work, sometimes. I love the opportunity to be a smartass in response even more. For example, I just received this...

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From: [DBA]
Sent: Wednesday, August 19, 2009 3:23 PM
To: [Project Manager 1]; Feren; [Feren's Boss]
Subject: Pipe sizing for transfers to new delta production

We were under the impression that the pipe going to production will be getting larger soon.

The last time we needed to transfer a large file to production from delta or delta2 we got kicked out repeatedly.

After a very productive day we are on track to start out database builds tonight and tomorrow.

For one of these databases this will require a 50gb file transfer. With the problems occurring last time we want to confirm when the pipe gets bigger so that we can reduce the chances of restart.


So when will the pipe get bigger??

Thanks,
[DBA]

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I carefully considered this for a minute, then sent a response:

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From: Feren
Sent: Wednesday, August 19, 2009 3:23 PM
To: [DBA]; [Project Manager 1]; Feren; [Feren's Boss]; [Project Manager 2]
Subject: Re: Pipe sizing for transfers to new delta production

When it works out more regularly and drinks protein shakes.

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Comments

[imandunewen.livejournal.com]

really, that just makes me want to find you in the universal address book and send you a lol cat. don't know why - it just does. :)

[feren.livejournal.com]

*snerk*

"I made you a bigger pipe. But I eated it."

[yotogi.livejournal.com]

Longpipe is looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong

[feren.livejournal.com]

[blueadept.livejournal.com]

I would've gone the Enzyte route and gotten fired for creating a hostile workplace... but that's just me. :(

At least Bob would be happy.

[feren.livejournal.com]

Somebody did send a reply (it was not me) and they did reference Enzyte.

[points.livejournal.com]

"We've been having it response to every 'get a bigger tool' email it gets to no avail. Oddly enough, we've been finding bigger tools all around campus lately."

[rev-ringtail.livejournal.com]

Today, you are my hero. If only I could get away with that.

[nemetfox.livejournal.com]

I've got a good grin on here at work now after reading that.

If only...

[schloss-adler.livejournal.com]

lol

If only additional bandwidth was that easy...

If I wrote an e-mail like that, I'd get slammed for "not being a team player..."

Extenze...