Words, words... I am not PC.

[feren]

Since I'm in an odd mood, and the LiveJournal bug has bitten me squarely in the ass I will now post a list of words and/or phrases that make me angry. I would gladly pay to see anybody who uses these words have a traumatic introduction of their head to a tire iron at something resembling 130 miles per hour. This list is not all-encompassing. It is subject to change at any time.

In no particular order:

• Bling
  
• *lol*
  
• *rofl*
  
• phat
  
• thugz
  
• w00t
  
• "Icy Hot Stuntaz"
  
• Nigger
  
• w00t (because I hate it that much)
  
• dwaggin
  
• Martha Stewart
  
• "Fucking greedy Republicans"
  
• "Fucking bleeding-heart liberal"
  
• Democrat
  
• "Fucking mundanes"
  
• "Fucking furries"
  
• "Fucking fags"
  
• Gay Pride
  
• Black Pride
  
• White Power
  
• "Ebonics is a legitimate language"
  
• niggaz
  
• Politically Correct
  

I reserve the right to add your stupid slang or phrase to my list at any time. I reserve the right to remove it any time. You are here to amuse me, so dance goddammit! DANCE YOU STUPID PUPPETS!

"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary." - James D. Nicoll

Notice that Mister Nicoll doesn't say we chase ignorant, uneducated apes down alleyways and beat them unconscious to gain vocabulary, only other languages. Speak the language right or cut out your voicebox, would you?

Comments

[geloe.livejournal.com]

I heart you. ;D Capiche? Capiche.

I am so sick of Internet lingo. (I can tolerate the occasional LOL or the like, but Christ, don't overuse it. 'Lolololol' kills me more. Irritating to the lol'th power!) I know people were just as daft pre-Internet, butbutbut--

Don't forget l33t geeks. ;P

[feren.livejournal.com]

l33t-speak h4xx0rs can choke on a bucketful of Ron Jeremy super-sized dicks.

[angelwiccan.livejournal.com]

Isn't Ron Jeremy's dick size a myth?

[kinkyturtle.livejournal.com]

"Capisce" can be fun if used right. It's Italian for "Understand?" The proper way to spell it is "Capisc'?" and the proper response is "Capito."

So next time someone says "Capisce?" to you (or 'capiche' or 'kapeesh' or whatever silly way they think it's spelled), just say "Capito!" (or "Non capito" if applicable) and watch for that look of taken-abackness on their faces!

(And yeah... what exactly does "lolololol" stand for? Laughing out loud out loud out loud out loud? Laughing out loud or losing one's lunch on the loo?)

[yakko.livejournal.com]

You are here to amuse me,

Shoot me now.

Oh... what'm I saying?

Shut your piehole.

:oD

(Oh... you may also want to ask everyone to -write- the language right, huh? Because if I have to deal with ONE MORE person who can't get their "their/there/they're" or "lose/loose" right. . . POW!)

[yakko.livejournal.com]

(And yeah... what exactly does "lolololol" stand for? Laughing out loud out loud out loud out loud? Laughing out loud or losing one's lunch on the loo?)

No.

It means, "I'm smashing my head into the keyboard, and my nose is making contact with the only two working keys."

[kinkyturtle.livejournal.com]

Go here (http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=grammarpolice&itemid=432985) and scroll down for my comment!

Tempting fate

[jenwolf.livejournal.com]

*ahem*

MARTHA STEWART!

[roho.livejournal.com]

I was playing a PS2 game recently, and I lost...the message it gave me was something like, "The enemy has reclaimed it's weapon, you're quest has failed!" Two of the most annoying mistakes in the English language, in one breath, and they don't even have the excuse that it was badly translated! The game was originally written in English, by Americans.

[geloe.livejournal.com]

I figured someone would jump on that. For having only spoken it before and being too lazy at the time to go searching for a proper spelling, I'm surprised I didn't maul it worse. ;)

And anyway. I don't speak Italian. Just French. O:)

But regardless, thanks. Nifty educational bit.

[feren.livejournal.com]

You know.... I really don't have a clue on that particular issue. I guess I need to go hit the local porn store and rent some videos to find out for certain. :p

The answer to this problem...

[feren.livejournal.com]

Every American child should be forced to re-read this helpful document until they wake up crying in the middle of the night that the flower is going to eat them.

Only then are they ready to face something as complicated as "their/there/they're."

[feren.livejournal.com]

[ simulated persona = 'Feren', node #68, max search depth 42%, neural variance 47.3 ] [ reply date = 11/2/2002 09:33:07 AM ] My journal is becoming a place of learning?

[ simulated persona = 'Feren', node #68, max search depth 42%, neural variance 47.3 ] [ reply date = 11/2/2002 09:34:57 AM ] DEAR GOD NO!

Re: Tempting fate

[feren.livejournal.com]

Re: Tempting fate

[feren.livejournal.com]

You are so going to pay for that.

[genet.livejournal.com]

It may just be me, but seeing someone put *smile* or *lol* in a message board posting makes me want to rip their intestines out with a spoon.

That and u, r, ur, plz, wazzup....

If you can't be bothered to speak properly online, I can't be bothered to respond to you, fucknut. "Gimme plz" is not the way to ask me for things.

And what is this... abundance... of profanity? Ever notice how those of lower intelligence must sprinkle everything they say with filth?

You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

-K

[captain18.livejournal.com]

As with everything, when used in moderation and under the proper circumstance, I have no problem with the use of "clever" misspellings and such. But I agree that it's gotten way out of control.

When I get replies from the corporate MIS director like "thank u" at work, I want to send Jesus Shoes to go walk with Jesus. Crap on a crap cracker, she's old enough to be my mother, she should be the one all over the professionalism aspect of things.

[dustyfox.livejournal.com]

Yo! Wazzap kitty?
We juss sittin here trading prison-friendly blingbling with Martha Stewart. By the way, she b gonna introduce a line ov assless chapses 2 the K-mart so b looking 4 them. LOLOLOL! j/k! o.O -.- :D
But yeah I do's agrees with you - them ignant peoples is just fucking annoyin'.

(This person was later arrested and charged with Aggravated Ignorance and Intent to Distribute.)

Re: Tempting fate

[randikitty.livejournal.com]

Yay! Spankings!!

[jenwolf.livejournal.com]

Je parle un petit peur de francais aussi.

Re: The answer to this problem...

[ronbar.livejournal.com]

Grasshopper, don't forget Dave Barry's classic:

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe?

Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHECK'S, or: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ITEM'S. Another important grammar concept to bear in mind when creating hand-lettered small-business signs is that you should put quotation marks around random words for decoration, as in "TRY" OUR HOT DOG'S, or even TRY "OUR" HOT DOG'S.
Dave Barry, "Tips for Writer's"

Awwww! So CUUUUUTE!

[ronbar.livejournal.com]

I didn't realize DustyFox was so adorable and cuddly and Arsenault-ey! Come here and let me cuddle you and pinch your cheeks!

Re: Awwww! So CUUUUUTE!

[feren.livejournal.com]

Re: Awwww! So CUUUUUTE!

[ronbar.livejournal.com]

The sentiment I expressed is because of his icon, not the text. Of course.

[dustyfox.livejournal.com]

No.
I will bite you and throw you in the basement.

Re: Awwww! So CUUUUUTE!

[feren.livejournal.com]

Sure it was.

[feren.livejournal.com]

You frighten me on many levels, Dusty.

Re: Tempting fate

[feren.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmmmaaaaayyyyyyyybe.

[jdm314.livejournal.com]

You speak a little fear of French? Pauvre petite! Tu sais, on peut toujours aller au psychologiste pour une telle maladie, n'est-ce pas?

[ronbar.livejournal.com]

Let's see the whole picture that the icon is from.

[(Anonymous)]

Sure! Right after you pull that finger out of your nose. It's been there what? Since 1993?

- DustyFox

[kinkyturtle.livejournal.com]

[Let's see the whole picture that the icon is from.]

Yeah I wanna see it too, actually!

At the risk of sounding like an AOL'er...

[feren.livejournal.com]

So do I.

Share, share!

[ronbar.livejournal.com]

February 1996, actually. I don't have the original it's based from anymore. The University of Maryland deleted my account (including my web pages) in late 1997 and didn't reply to my pleas for a copy from their tape archives. So nyah.

Neu might still have the original, since he made this icon for Forum 2010 and I just stole it from him. It has a piss-yellow halo to match his (wonderful, non-hideous) page backgrounds.

[feren.livejournal.com]

Speaking of 2010 and that crowd, when're you going to come back to #wt?

[feren.livejournal.com]

[It has a piss-yellow halo to match his (wonderful, non-hideous) page backgrounds.]

Also, the sarcasm is strong in this one.

[ronbar.livejournal.com]

As soon as my plans for world domination have come to fruition. Muhahaha.

First we need to move and I need to turn one of these Letters of Intent to Hire/Conditional Employment Offers into an actual job. That might happen as soon as this Wednesday or as late as a couple weeks from now. Once that happens, I'll have even less time to dick around on the computer.