Friday evening..

[feren]

Yet it so definately felt like Monday. I should be happy that the week is over and my weekend is opening before me, but I'm not because of the way today has gone from about 12 pm on. *sigh* I feel bad about my reaction, but it was the straw that broke the camel's back tonight. I'm also very upset that the situation that triggered it keeps coming up, over and over and over again. I do not like having my integrity questioned, especially on a continuing basis; it indicates a total lack of trust in me or the relationship, and I don't have time for that. I was made to dance and continually "prove" my loyalty in a past relationship, and I've grown weary of it... I'm tired of emotional abuse and mind games of any type in my relationships, and I will not hesitate to walk away from what otherwise seems to be a wonderful relationship if I have to put up with it any more.

I didn't need this. Can I go back to 10am and start over again?

.o.o.o.o.

9:34pm: I didn't quite get a do-over, but I did get a chance to speak my piece and do my share of listening -- something I hope I did at least a passable job at.

I think things are mostly smoothed over, and that's a relief. The part that upsets me is we had to take some very bumpy, unpleasant roads to get there from here. With luck it hasn't damaged things permanently.

Tensions are simply running too high on all fronts in the Pack these days.

Comments

[jenwolf.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I really am.

We both know why we reacted the way we did. Past relationships. But as long as we can talk afterwards, and listen to each other, then everything will be okay.

It's times like these
When my faith I feel
And I know
How I love you

[lcremeans.livejournal.com]

That's the thing that always seems to get me, and I'm not really officially dating anyone at the moment....past relationships and crushes making me think things are a lot worse than they are. I end up panicking and either pushing things forward really hard, or shying away, and not sticking around to negotiate -- and a lot of that is because my experiences with Suzanne strengthed those so much. I'm still trying to get it through my head that someone can like me and want to date without wanting to make out all the time, for one (and that was a problem even before Suzanne)...also feeling like I have to wait for a girl to make the first move, because I'm too afraid of offending her.

I guess I'm just impatient, but I figure things will work themselves out eventually.

-lee