Without fail...
Aug. 1st, 2001 10:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ferenEvery time I think I see some redeeming feature to our society, some light at the end of the tunnel that might actually help guide our species to a state of being where we don't believe that rockets must be shaped like enormous, erect penises so we can fuck the other countries while simultaneously bombing them back into the stone age, just when I think we finally have something to be proud of... something else comes along and blows that image all to shit. I mean it just completely demolishes my hope for the future. What am I bitching about now? Read on and find out. Warning, this contains an overdose of testosterone, cynicism and probably some unresolved teenage angst. No gin or rum was harmed in the making of this entry. Yes, believe it or not I am stone cold sober as I write this. Jen, I suspect, will approve of this fact even if I do not.
In rants past I've stated that I fully support, nay, demand that people take ahold of the huge steering wheel in front of them that is their future and bring their lives out of the horrendous flat spins that they already are in. I give suggestions just to prove I'm not being a totally unreasonable bastard: drive courteously, participate in the rearing of your children, try not to be so dense that you think your ten-dollar toaster will actually hesitate to burst into flame when you leave a gods-be-damned Pop-Tart jammed in the stupid thing with the elements on "crisp it darker than a Baywatch Bikini Line" for over twenty minutes. All of these things, one might assume, would be classified as "common sense," perhaps even the sort of thing that might become sheer instinct and be handed down from one generation to the next, the sort of thing one simply knows innately through some intervention by mother nature.
But no.
No, instead, we continue to thrive on making our fellow man miserable. SUVs sell in record numbers, and at the same time the auto industry continues to execute a bitchin' headlock upon the oil refineries so that gasoline remains plentiful and cheap enough to continue to power these Lexus-brand tanks. People burn down other people's homes. Stalking. Styrofoam peanuts. Abortion clinic bombings. Any number of atrocities are perpetuated in the name of any number of causes, but because it's "for a cause" that makes it OK. I mean, dammit all anyway, wouldn't it be so much more WORK stepping back and acting like the sentient monkeys we claim ourselves to be? Can't have that, mercy, no.
Here's where Fer tells more than you want to know: I don't know, for various reasons involving my sordid medical history, if I can even bring a life into this world (Yes, I can just go give a sample and get an answer, but this is one of the things I Just Don't Want To Know at this juncture in my life). If it should ever prove itself possible, the next question is should I even do so, when/if the right conditions ever present themselves (house, marriage, savings at the right level, etc)? Am I really doing right by my offspring to bring them into this world? I'm one ranting person who really dislikes the environment around him. I, alone, cannot change the world around me -- and as much as I might like to think otherwise, it isn't very likely that the world at large will hear my relatively simple plea and decide to participate in the global overhaul of our species... if being alive for this long has taught me one thing, it is that I am about as insignificant to this planet as that ant you unknowingly stepped on last week on the way out of the Burger King was to you.
I know that you are thinking "But you can pass down your morals to your child! You said it yourself, loser," right about now. Yes, those of you who have children already CAN make sure the world is a better place by instilling values into your children that YOU approve of, rather than letting the television, the school system, the babysitter and the X-box do it for you. This idea, if practiced by a number of people, could result in quite a movement within the next fifteen years -- and I for one would love to see it.
But as I have said before, I'm a practicing pessimist: I don't think anybody is going to go out of their way on this to make things better. So, that leaves me with this thought: if I were to have a child, this would amount to me sending out MY child, one of the beings I care most about in the world, out into a world that I already don't approve of, just so he can battle for beliefs I myself have been fighting for all these years already. I don't know about you, but I don't think that's fair to my child, not in the least.
Perhaps Kette will interject later in the comments -- I already have a sneaking feeling crawling up my back like a scorpion on a sleeping bag that most of the armchair psychologists will be jumping on this one with a few different theories about why I'm so adamant about everyone else altering the world and my lack of faith in my own child to do some of the work along with the rest. Maybe it has to do with my childhood -- I saw a lot of things I don't think I should have seen, and while I know I haven't had it as bad as some classes of people in far-off countries (Women in India, anybody?), I certainly did not have a lot of positive experiences in the public at large as I grew up (although I will take this moment to interject that my mother and my father, while tough-love types, were indeed quite loving and very devoted parents who did the best they could -- which, I like to think, was pretty goddamn good). I'm actually sort of interested in seeing this, because I've been staring into this mirror for a while now and the answers still aren't making themselves any more apparent to me now than when I first started. Whenever I start trying to figure out why I am the way I am, and I'm sufficiently agitated about the topic, or past a certain level of emotional involvement, the thing becomes more difficult than putting the proverbial square peg through the round hole. I mean, I might as well be trying to stuff a marshmallow into a friggin' piggy bank. It's fruitless and exceptionally frustrating.
Oh dear. I'm rambling and appear to have lost the exact point I was striving after. Bloody hell, I suspect that means I should wrap it up...
Is bringing a child into this world a fair thing for me to do, when I already disapprove of so many things that are occurring? Are the memories of my youth making me fear that perhaps my child would have to undergo some of the same traumas, ones which I don't think a child should have to go through, ones that can, in my opinion, rip away the thin veneer of wonder that's left in life for children in this day and age? Am I afraid of the commitment it represents to raise a child to believe in what I believe in, and believe in it enough to go out and fight for it? Am I out of my bloody mind to be staying up at night thinking about what it'd be like to find out I'd brought a life into this world, just before some incredible disaster occurs? Or am I just being paranoid about the whole damn thing?
I dunno.
It sucks to be introspective when you don't have the qualifications to even inspect a piece of wood.
I got a crazy teacher
He wears dark glasses
In rants past I've stated that I fully support, nay, demand that people take ahold of the huge steering wheel in front of them that is their future and bring their lives out of the horrendous flat spins that they already are in. I give suggestions just to prove I'm not being a totally unreasonable bastard: drive courteously, participate in the rearing of your children, try not to be so dense that you think your ten-dollar toaster will actually hesitate to burst into flame when you leave a gods-be-damned Pop-Tart jammed in the stupid thing with the elements on "crisp it darker than a Baywatch Bikini Line" for over twenty minutes. All of these things, one might assume, would be classified as "common sense," perhaps even the sort of thing that might become sheer instinct and be handed down from one generation to the next, the sort of thing one simply knows innately through some intervention by mother nature.
But no.
No, instead, we continue to thrive on making our fellow man miserable. SUVs sell in record numbers, and at the same time the auto industry continues to execute a bitchin' headlock upon the oil refineries so that gasoline remains plentiful and cheap enough to continue to power these Lexus-brand tanks. People burn down other people's homes. Stalking. Styrofoam peanuts. Abortion clinic bombings. Any number of atrocities are perpetuated in the name of any number of causes, but because it's "for a cause" that makes it OK. I mean, dammit all anyway, wouldn't it be so much more WORK stepping back and acting like the sentient monkeys we claim ourselves to be? Can't have that, mercy, no.
Here's where Fer tells more than you want to know: I don't know, for various reasons involving my sordid medical history, if I can even bring a life into this world (Yes, I can just go give a sample and get an answer, but this is one of the things I Just Don't Want To Know at this juncture in my life). If it should ever prove itself possible, the next question is should I even do so, when/if the right conditions ever present themselves (house, marriage, savings at the right level, etc)? Am I really doing right by my offspring to bring them into this world? I'm one ranting person who really dislikes the environment around him. I, alone, cannot change the world around me -- and as much as I might like to think otherwise, it isn't very likely that the world at large will hear my relatively simple plea and decide to participate in the global overhaul of our species... if being alive for this long has taught me one thing, it is that I am about as insignificant to this planet as that ant you unknowingly stepped on last week on the way out of the Burger King was to you.
I know that you are thinking "But you can pass down your morals to your child! You said it yourself, loser," right about now. Yes, those of you who have children already CAN make sure the world is a better place by instilling values into your children that YOU approve of, rather than letting the television, the school system, the babysitter and the X-box do it for you. This idea, if practiced by a number of people, could result in quite a movement within the next fifteen years -- and I for one would love to see it.
But as I have said before, I'm a practicing pessimist: I don't think anybody is going to go out of their way on this to make things better. So, that leaves me with this thought: if I were to have a child, this would amount to me sending out MY child, one of the beings I care most about in the world, out into a world that I already don't approve of, just so he can battle for beliefs I myself have been fighting for all these years already. I don't know about you, but I don't think that's fair to my child, not in the least.
Perhaps Kette will interject later in the comments -- I already have a sneaking feeling crawling up my back like a scorpion on a sleeping bag that most of the armchair psychologists will be jumping on this one with a few different theories about why I'm so adamant about everyone else altering the world and my lack of faith in my own child to do some of the work along with the rest. Maybe it has to do with my childhood -- I saw a lot of things I don't think I should have seen, and while I know I haven't had it as bad as some classes of people in far-off countries (Women in India, anybody?), I certainly did not have a lot of positive experiences in the public at large as I grew up (although I will take this moment to interject that my mother and my father, while tough-love types, were indeed quite loving and very devoted parents who did the best they could -- which, I like to think, was pretty goddamn good). I'm actually sort of interested in seeing this, because I've been staring into this mirror for a while now and the answers still aren't making themselves any more apparent to me now than when I first started. Whenever I start trying to figure out why I am the way I am, and I'm sufficiently agitated about the topic, or past a certain level of emotional involvement, the thing becomes more difficult than putting the proverbial square peg through the round hole. I mean, I might as well be trying to stuff a marshmallow into a friggin' piggy bank. It's fruitless and exceptionally frustrating.
Oh dear. I'm rambling and appear to have lost the exact point I was striving after. Bloody hell, I suspect that means I should wrap it up...
Is bringing a child into this world a fair thing for me to do, when I already disapprove of so many things that are occurring? Are the memories of my youth making me fear that perhaps my child would have to undergo some of the same traumas, ones which I don't think a child should have to go through, ones that can, in my opinion, rip away the thin veneer of wonder that's left in life for children in this day and age? Am I afraid of the commitment it represents to raise a child to believe in what I believe in, and believe in it enough to go out and fight for it? Am I out of my bloody mind to be staying up at night thinking about what it'd be like to find out I'd brought a life into this world, just before some incredible disaster occurs? Or am I just being paranoid about the whole damn thing?
I dunno.
It sucks to be introspective when you don't have the qualifications to even inspect a piece of wood.
I got a crazy teacher
He wears dark glasses
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
sleepytime
Date: 2001-08-01 11:41 pm (UTC)okay, i can sympathize, because i also see a lot of fucked up things in this world that make me angry and cynical and sometimes depressed, but not usually, because i usually get depressed about personal issues and not the state of the world at large, i only get cynical about that. but regardless, i'm pretty sure that i'm going to procreate, simply because i think my biology will force me to. no, really, I've got what's known as 'birthin' hips. You know that 'hip/waist' ratio that supposed to signal to a man that i'm as fertile as can be? yep, got it. i'm pretty damn sure that i could get pregnant at the drop of a hat. hell, i've even had a psychic tell me that i have 'baby spirts' in my aura waiting to be born, which creeps me out, because when i'm on the toilet or something i have to imagine little baby spirits watching me, but whatever, i dont put much faith in psychics who charge $10 for a reading, but anyway, logically, intellectually, i'm pretty sure that the reasons not to have a kid outweigh the reasons to have a kid. but when i see a baby, i melt and get gooey on the inside, and i cannot help it, so i'm pretty sure i'll end up having a baby against my better judgement.
that said tho, i personally am an optimist (although sometimes cynical) and i basically enjoy life. i think the good in life outweighs the shit, and i enjoy being alive, and i'm glad i'm alive, and i really think that as many other people should be alive as possible, because it can be a pretty cool thing. so even though the world is fucked, i don't have any guilt about the idea of bringing a child into a world that pisses me off sometimes, because regardless, i'd rather be alive than not. make any sense? of course, i'm booking on the fact that my child will have the same personality type as me, but for all i know, they might hate life and hate the world, in which case, that sucks for them.
so what it boils down to is: do you want children, but are afraid you're doing something unfair by bringing them into existince? and if so, do you yourself enjoy existing more than not? if so, then i see no moral dilemma about bringing kids into the world. however, if you dont' want kids and question the fairness of bringing them into the world, then you shouldn't. pretty simple to me.
one last thing: if you wait around for the 'right' time to have a kid (ie perfect family situation, perfect house, perfect savings) you'll never have one. trust me.
i go sleep now.
children, bleh
Date: 2001-08-02 09:24 am (UTC)I do not intend to have children. Ever. I am waiting until I am 28 so I can get sterilized [my doctor seems to think being older will change my mind. Ha!]. I have thought about this for many years, and my conclusion remains the same. I never want to experience the joys of being pregnant [morning sickness, outgrowing my clothes at analarming rate, the pain of labor]. No thank you, not for me. I do not want to sacrifice my sleep for the first couple years it takes for the damn kid to learn to sleep through the night quietly. I don't want to put up with the screaming fits and tantrums, the gimme gimme's, the "Everybody elses' mom is letting them do it" logic of a child. I do not have the patience or the responsibility to raise another human being. I know that I don't. Therefore I will fix myself so that I can't have children, to save myself from my biology.
Because I believe people should have a certain amount of financial, physical, and emotional stability/responsibility before they should have kids. I believe that a couple should have to prove that they are able to support a child, give it the love and care and guidance it needs before they are allowed to breed. It might solve some of the problems Fer is constantly ranting about. Not all, but some.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
Re: children, bleh
Date: 2001-08-03 12:50 pm (UTC)[This was meant to be silly, for the humour impaired out there. :P]