Dear Lazyweb: Help me be a smartass

[feren]

Dear Lazyweb,

It is under great duress that I am editing my profile in the "$EMPLOYER Commons," which is essentially an internal Facebook site full of rah-rah-rah propaganda. One of the things I'm being told I need to do is supply a "tagline" that suits me.

I need something that will pass the HR/Corporate/Management "sniff test" but still convey a level of snarkiness to those who know me. I'm sure linnaeus would have a good suggestion, but I want all of you to feel free to chip in too.

Comments

[stryck.livejournal.com]

Ginning up enthusiasm, one day at a time!

[roho.livejournal.com]

"Crackers don't matter!"

[yotogi.livejournal.com]

Handling your pipe, whether you want it or not.

[angelwind.livejournal.com]

The best ironic sentence ever for a corporation"

"Communication counts."

[warphammer.livejournal.com]

Gnngh, need to watch that again now. :)

[prophetx.livejournal.com]

"Not so much threatening as much as openly hostile"

"Which one of you suit wearing fucks is my new core switch??"

[tarinfirepelt.livejournal.com]

One of the finest chaps in the department. ;)

[captain18.livejournal.com]

Niiiiiiiice.

[captain18.livejournal.com]

How about "Usah expect I fix!"

[markvd.livejournal.com]

"I molest your bits."

Also works well on a t-shirt with a firewall on the back.

[duckhunter.livejournal.com]

Selling your data, one bit at a time.

I've made peace with my God, and stuck a good bargain with yours. Let's dance.

Corporate Collaborator

[captain18.livejournal.com]

Or there's always the tried and true "I've upped my standards..."