College football

[feren]

Today I advanced my theory to lady_curmudgeon that college football could be made vastly more interesting if I could just get a thought shift to occur around mascot choices.

Imagine this: Instead of choosing something "noble" like the Wolf or the Husky or the Falcon, the coach and school go for something a bit more ... humble.

I submit for your consideration: the star-nosed mole.


Now, imagine that terrifying visage as a seven foot tall, terrycloth, nightmare-fuel mascot costume. Oh, the Moles are down 5 points in the final quarter? Trot this mascot out on the field for a quick pep rally. Watch the opposing team shriek and scatter in confusion and fear!

This is a game-changer, I'm telling you.

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Comments

[neowolf2.livejournal.com]

There's something Marvel Supervillain-ish about this.

I want to see the cheerleaders for this team, and for their arch-nemesis, the Naked Mole Rats.

[chefmongoose.livejournal.com]

I bet you a nickel there's star-nosed mile porn on FA somewhere. Let that sink in.

[neowolf2.livejournal.com]

All hail Rule 34.

[ben-mouse.livejournal.com]

Something Lovecraftian about that thing...

[duckhunter.livejournal.com]

Well, let's be honest. Regardless of what kind of mascot you have, you'd have to get a couple of grisly, public devourings in order to truly drive the point home.

Oregon's "No, I'm Not Donald" Duck would scare the crap out of me coming out of the tunnel with a bloody yāōtlatquitl and a Aztec headdress... Hell, a flippin' Care Bear with the same gear would cause many of my internal contents to suddenly become external.